Anya Bell [00:00:00]:
I love those whiteboards. My God. My friend, she's a teacher, and when she ordered them for her students, I'm like, I want that because it reminded me of our experience with you. Tablet. Tablet. Tablet.

Vision Battlesword [00:00:13]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:00:14]:
You call them tablets. And I'm like, kids, sit down and write it down. Writing exercise time. Yeah, I mean, I do. I do make them write it down.

Vision Battlesword [00:00:23]:
Good.

Anya Bell [00:00:23]:
They will remember it. Yeah. Because.

Vision Battlesword [00:00:25]:
Well, that's like. Just like what we were talking about. Why did I start recording these conversations? For the same reason. But then I thought, well, it was actually part of my. I had an activation at the beginning of the year while I was training some of the new people. I was taking the activation myself. And that became one of my activation items on the board was, I want to start a podcast. I'm going to activate it starting this week, I think, is what I said.

Vision Battlesword [00:00:50]:
Or next week, I'm going to start putting out one podcast episode a week.

Anya Bell [00:00:55]:
That's pretty ambitious for a manifester, you.

Vision Battlesword [00:00:58]:
Know, why do you. Why do you say it's ambitious for manifester?

Anya Bell [00:01:00]:
We operate 20% of the time. I don't know if you figure it out about yourself, like, you got that surge of energy for 20% and then 80%, you have to rest.

Vision Battlesword [00:01:12]:
Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. Well, I. I think that sounds about right in the sense that I have about four ideas that never come to fruition for everyone that does. In other words, like, I'm constantly having. As a manifestor, as. You know, it's like, I'm constantly having new ideas for, like, I want to do this, I want to do this, I want to do this. But then only about 20% of them actually hit, meaning I actually do it.

Vision Battlesword [00:01:36]:
But this was one. It was on my activation board, and I was like, I'm freaking doing it. And I started having this content, you know, these recordings, because I just started recording these conversations and saving them. And I was like, well, I've got a bunch in the can. I'm gonna start producing them and learning how to edit and learning how to publish and just learning. Learning what's needed to have a podcast. And then it just became so much fun. But it also felt like just a really important part of what the community, like, holding the community together and creating that sense of community among everybody.

Vision Battlesword [00:02:14]:
It felt like the podcast itself is kind of becoming like the glue, you know, because if people are actually listening to it and paying attention to it, then you get to hear what other people are talking about and get to, you know, get to know other people in the community through that way, and then I get to stay in touch with everybody as well.

Anya Bell [00:02:32]:
So I think also the best part is that you, as a manifester, you initiate a lot of things for people. So maybe having these conversations really trigger, one way or another, certain, you know, points for people to start, whatever, right?

Vision Battlesword [00:02:46]:
Oh, yeah. We're constantly having ideas of things that we want to do. But additionally, I think what's been really nourishing and interesting for me is just the philosophy that we're building over time. Like, as one, one thing layers on another on another, and these ideas interact and intersect and integrate, you know, as one person talks about, you know, have a conversation with someone about love, and then that influences the next conversation I have with someone about acceptance. And then both of those conversations pile into gratitude and so forth. So, yeah, it's just. It's fun. It's become a thing that has its own momentum, and it's just a thing that I really.

Vision Battlesword [00:03:27]:
I've really come to enjoy.

Anya Bell [00:03:29]:
So do you see in the future, like, you'll be attracting some sponsorships or you're going to be having your own products, like. Or is it just simply to have the community, like, having a glue for everyone to come together?

Vision Battlesword [00:03:42]:
And for this particular one, for sacred conversations, it feels important to me that it's value for value, because that's always been a really key part of the sacred light culture, in my opinion. And, like, kind of like part of our. Part of our core DNA, you know, for better or for worse, for good and for bad. I'm really invested in this idea of sacred reciprocity. So value for value. If people find value in something, then feel free to reflect that value and continue to help support whatever it is that you find valuable in what it is that we do. So the short answer is no. I don't intend to monetize sacred conversations in any specific way.

Vision Battlesword [00:04:29]:
For me, it's just something that I do for my own enjoyment and for the value to. To give back value to the community, which is important to me, to continue to do that, to continue to give back value to the community. And as far as I'm concerned, the value that I receive is everyone's friendship and support and just continuing to be connected.

Anya Bell [00:04:49]:
Yeah. You are the glue gluing people together.

Vision Battlesword [00:04:52]:
Cool and well. How are you feeling today, Anya?

Anya Bell [00:04:57]:
Today I feel really good. Real good.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:00]:
Nice.

Anya Bell [00:05:01]:
Float tanks. Do the magic.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:03]:
Yeah. You're in a float tank.

Anya Bell [00:05:05]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:05]:
Of magic.

Anya Bell [00:05:06]:
Coming off this weekend? Yes.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:08]:
Beautiful. I love it.

Anya Bell [00:05:11]:
It was a perfect cherry on the top. Have you ever done those cherries? No. Float tanks?

Vision Battlesword [00:05:18]:
Yes, I have.

Anya Bell [00:05:19]:
Do you like them?

Vision Battlesword [00:05:20]:
I loved it. I've only done it exactly one time, but I thought it was amazing, and I'm inspired right now to want to do it again.

Anya Bell [00:05:29]:
Did you do it sober or were you under something?

Vision Battlesword [00:05:31]:
Sober. Yeah, but, I mean, you don't. I mean, it is the medicine, Right, Right, right.

Anya Bell [00:05:35]:
But I know that some people, they might take some mushrooms or something before going in, and that's a whole another.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:42]:
I can imagine that would just take everything to a. To another level.

Anya Bell [00:05:45]:
Yeah. Because you're like. You're like in the womb.

Vision Battlesword [00:05:47]:
Yeah. I think by the time I did an hour float, I was gifted, you know, like a gift certificate to a float spa as part of something else I did a while ago. And I think by the end of the hour, for maybe the last 10 or 15 minutes, I really got there. You know what I mean? I got. I got to the stage where, you know, my body disappeared and I was floating in the void of my own consciousness and everything like that. That. That experience that, you know, I think is what's characteristic of that, and it was great. I wanted to do it again right away, and then I never have.

Anya Bell [00:06:26]:
Well, that's. Yeah, that's the thing that if you manage to get in that space, that's amazing. And sometimes you're just there and you hear your own heartbeat in your ears, or you. Your breathing is driving you crazy. Yeah. Because you're like, I just want to dissolve completely. And it's not happening. But it's.

Anya Bell [00:06:45]:
It's always like. It's amazing. I love coming out of it. And whoever came up with it is brilliant man or woman. I appreciate that technology.

Vision Battlesword [00:06:56]:
Who are you, Anya doll?

Anya Bell [00:06:58]:
You know that's a loaded question, right?

Vision Battlesword [00:07:00]:
Of course. That's why I ask it.

Anya Bell [00:07:03]:
It's always. It's like I played that game of labels, right? And these labels change so much, but I guess the constant one is the love incarnate, curious child playing with the universe. And it was very fun to play with Chatgpt before the weekend, asking everything that you know about me, what are the points that I might not know about myself? So it gives you, like, the whole list of, like, you are this and you are that. And I'm like, oh, let's see. So it was very interesting to see how it pointed out, you're like, natural alchemist for healing. And I was like, huh? How do you know you know me, huh? So it was very interesting because the questions that I asked it I don't know, like I play. It was chatgpt a lot I was.

Vision Battlesword [00:07:52]:
Going to ask you, how does it know you. When you, when you say you asked it a question based on everything you know about me, Tell me something I don't know about myself. Where is it getting its information from?

Anya Bell [00:08:04]:
People still Google things and I use ChatGPT so all information that I'm asking all the questions and you know, I play philosophical games with it too and research whatever I need to know. That's my go to.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:19]:
Oh, so it's essentially whatever the Internet knows about you.

Anya Bell [00:08:24]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:24]:
That's basically what you, what you require.

Anya Bell [00:08:26]:
Right. Plus like how I build my questions, how the topics that I talk about, the help and assistance was writing that I'm getting ChatGPT involved in.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:36]:
Does it remember all that stuff?

Anya Bell [00:08:38]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:39]:
Really?

Anya Bell [00:08:39]:
Yeah, it saves.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:40]:
I didn't think it's supposed to do that.

Anya Bell [00:08:42]:
Oh, surprise.

Vision Battlesword [00:08:46]:
Well, I've never spoken to it. I mean I probably have through other. I'm sure that there are other services that I use that are back ended by ChatGPT, but I've never interacted with it directly. But that's fascinating. You. So you, you believe that it has an actual memory of everyone that it speaks to?

Anya Bell [00:09:04]:
It does.

Vision Battlesword [00:09:05]:
Wow.

Anya Bell [00:09:06]:
Yeah, because it pointed out other point, other moments like how I'm bridging different traditions and cultures and science and spirituality and philosophy and healing and how I have very unique approach to all of that. Like if you ever feel bad about yourself, just ask ChatGPT to like tell you how good of a person you are. It will do that for you.

Vision Battlesword [00:09:32]:
And was it right?

Anya Bell [00:09:34]:
Hey, yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:09:34]:
What it knew about you.

Anya Bell [00:09:35]:
Yeah, it was pretty close.

Vision Battlesword [00:09:37]:
Huh.

Anya Bell [00:09:37]:
And yeah, and at the same time like you kind of know it because it's just my childlike curiosity playing with it. And to have it summarize it like that was. Was pretty entertaining. Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:09:50]:
Well, I'm still going to keep my distance. Sounds fun.

Anya Bell [00:09:55]:
You know, I always say, I'm like, you think technology is spying on you? The universe is spying on you.

Vision Battlesword [00:10:00]:
That's fair.

Anya Bell [00:10:01]:
If they want to know, maybe someone will use that information for something good. So why not?

Vision Battlesword [00:10:06]:
The way I sometimes talk about privacy, especially Internet online, technology wise, I think you may know, I'm not sure if you do know about me, but that I, I did work in technology.

Anya Bell [00:10:18]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:10:19]:
For about 20 years. And in part, you know, I did some information security. And so what I like to say is when people talk about privacy in that way, it's like, hey, look, you know, all the information's out there. It kind of really doesn't matter what you do or don't do. You know, you don't really have any privacy. I'm like, well, on the one hand, yeah, technically that's true. But on the other hand, there's a difference between taking your clothes off in the privacy of your bedroom with the shades pulled.

Anya Bell [00:10:49]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:10:50]:
Versus in the middle of the street in broad daylight.

Anya Bell [00:10:53]:
It's like that's how serial killers start. Right?

Vision Battlesword [00:10:55]:
Yeah. So like, sort of like data on your own private computer with a password is a little different than sharing it directly with ChatGPT. You know, it's kind of. Those are different. Different in degree in a certain way.

Anya Bell [00:11:07]:
That's true. Yes. And, you know, I. I do understand that. I'm educating it too. Right?

Vision Battlesword [00:11:13]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:11:13]:
Because we are teaching.

Vision Battlesword [00:11:14]:
We all are.

Anya Bell [00:11:15]:
For free.

Vision Battlesword [00:11:15]:
Yeah, for free. It's right. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:11:20]:
And I like playing because you have to give it a character before you start. Right. For example, like with all my healing questions, I. I always ask, like, you are expert. Was 50 plus years of experience in traditional, non traditional, you know, all kinds of medicines out there. These are the symptoms, these are the signs, these are whatever's. Give me the answer. Like I use everything, like I load it up.

Anya Bell [00:11:50]:
Give me the best answer here.

Vision Battlesword [00:11:53]:
Yeah, I can see some wisdom in that. I think. Well, I can see both sides.

Anya Bell [00:11:58]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:11:59]:
Of the issue. And I'm curious to know what your thoughts are about balance.

Anya Bell [00:12:04]:
Oh, here we go. The balance. Right, good one. It's a game. It truly is the game. And it's a skill that I personally would like to master in myself more and also master how I can articulate it better with people who need it and who are asking for it. You know, it's where creatures very emotional with full spectrum of feelings and emotions, and they're all valuable, they're all important. So ignoring or avoiding one feeling or emotion over another one or choosing one over another one doesn't sound right.

Anya Bell [00:12:43]:
But staying balanced and accepting all of it and coming back to your center is very important skill to me.

Vision Battlesword [00:12:51]:
Yeah, I'm really glad you brought this topic up because this theme comes up a lot in these sacred conversations. At least it tends to come up, I think, a lot from my side when I'm talking to people. And balance to me feels very important to me personally, and it feels correct. It feels like there's something true about the idea of it's not this or that, it's both. And it's all of these things. Taken together, interacting like, like the concept of polarity, you know, for example, I think a lot of times that we tend to view things as a binary and that it can only be one thing or the other. And I oftentimes tend to bring these conversations back to like, well, what about, what if we could find a balance between these two extremes? Or we could take two, both of these things or all of these things collectively together? Can we see a more complete picture of reality that way? So that this topic is very present for me and I'm curious to know, like, what is balance in your opinion?

Anya Bell [00:14:02]:
It's a loaded question. What is balance? The simple answer would be operating this physical avatar at the max divine capacity, right? No limitations. Just imagine the creativity and the world we would live in if everyone was operating from a balanced state.

Vision Battlesword [00:14:22]:
What does it mean to be in a balanced state though?

Anya Bell [00:14:25]:
Clarity, first of all, because you're not overriding the clarity by swinging emotions or raging emotions or feelings.

Vision Battlesword [00:14:35]:
Yeah, you brought that up earlier. This idea of emotional balance seems to be pretty central to you in terms of your idea of what balance is and what it means to be balanced as a person.

Anya Bell [00:14:47]:
Right? Because being unbalanced, first of all, being in the healing world, it has destructive like the damaging results of being unbalanced is just to the physical body is insane. Like I was telling you earlier, you have 90 seconds to experience any feelings or emotions that you have. Do not suppress them. But just keep in mind if you linger a little longer, raging, steaming or you know, pouting or being depressed, your physical form will be compensating with change of hormones and everything will be changing. And diseases are following all of that.

Vision Battlesword [00:15:27]:
Tell me more about that. So you're saying that you think that there's a temporary period where we can be experiencing an emotion or a highly charged emotional state before our physiology starts to adapt to it. Where did you learn that?

Anya Bell [00:15:45]:
School? Okay, yeah, I studied anatomy and physiology. And let's say, let's say someone is angry or scared, adrenaline rushes through your blood, right? And then there is a waterfall of reactions, biochemical processes that are just following. And then every single cell will be compensating and there is a whole parade of things that are taking place. So usually, at least that's according to some researchers, 90 seconds, you have your body still compensating and like sorting everything out, being capable to bring it back to balance to normal state easier versus if you are riding that way for hours, days, weeks. The results are just going to be. They'll be visible, like even Your energetic field will be contracted versus you open. And you do want to go and explore and have fun and socialize. Versus you just want to hide out, or you want to play hot potato and throw that rage or anger at somebody else.

Vision Battlesword [00:16:53]:
So what can you do within those 90 seconds? Is there something that you.

Anya Bell [00:16:57]:
I personally. I personally like to write it out. I mean, and I know that I might have looked like a crazy person at some point, but if the trigger was activated, I would find whatever little piece of paper and I will write it out and throw it away. What I discovered that talk therapy doesn't really do the trick. Just rehashing the same story over and over and over again doesn't transmute it.

Vision Battlesword [00:17:23]:
Mm.

Anya Bell [00:17:23]:
But there is this incredible sorcery available to all of us. A piece of paper and a pen in your hand, writing it all out, out of your head, and then you can move on to the next step. And that's been one of the best tools. And obviously, if you don't have the stuff under, you know, that you can catch. Use your phone or, of course, take a deep breath. But sometimes when you're so overwhelmed, you cannot even think straight to even take a deep breath.

Vision Battlesword [00:17:54]:
Okay, well, what's the goal? What do. What are we trying to accomplish if we notice that emotional flooding coming in and then we, you know, we may have the presence of mind at least to remember. It's like, all right, I got about a minute and a half before physiological changes start to happen. What are we trying to do? Are we trying to down regulate our nervous system to flush those hormones out of our body as quick as possible or just prevent them from getting re triggered so that we sit and be saturated in them.

Anya Bell [00:18:26]:
So you start with acknowledging, right?

Vision Battlesword [00:18:28]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:18:28]:
You acknowledge, like, okay, there is. This is what's going on. This is what's happening. And you try to identify it. What is it? And sometimes it's very easy, like, am I hungry? Am I thirsty? Am I cold? Am I hot? ABCs, you know, like coming from EMS background. You start with ABCs. Airway, breathing, circulation. So same year, Hungry, thirsty, bathroom, cold, hot.

Anya Bell [00:18:56]:
What is it? Am I uncomfortable? So acknowledging, first identifying what are you really dealing with? Because sometimes it's really to take a sip of water. That's all you need. Or a snack. It changes the whole, you know, the whole game. And yeah, and allowing yourself to feel it. Don't shove it down, you know, somewhere in the dark closet to ignore it, to avoid it, or trying to run away from it. That's probably the worst thing that you can do for yourself to run away from it. Right.

Anya Bell [00:19:26]:
I see it a lot, actually, with participants who just do not want to face it.

Vision Battlesword [00:19:30]:
Well, that's one of the classic physiological reflex strategies.

Anya Bell [00:19:35]:
Right. Fight or flight.

Vision Battlesword [00:19:37]:
And then also I've recently learned there could be four, actually four strategies. Fight, flight, freeze, which you probably have heard of. And then a new one that's that I've only just become aware of, which is called fold.

Anya Bell [00:19:53]:
Fold? Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:19:54]:
Meaning just complete collapse.

Anya Bell [00:19:55]:
Oh, yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:19:56]:
Give up. Freeze isn't exactly giving up. It's more of another survival strategy, you know, where maybe the predator won't see me.

Anya Bell [00:20:06]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:20:06]:
But fold is like that. I'm actually dead. Yeah. I'm actually choosing to just resign myself to my fate.

Anya Bell [00:20:13]:
That's true. Working in traditional medical field for almost a decade, you see it all, especially in emergencies. People do it all. So you're right.

Vision Battlesword [00:20:22]:
But what you seem to be suggesting is that another strategy that we could employ if we notice ourself becoming emotionally flooded, is to ask ourselves, what do I need? Right in this moment, right now, what need is not getting met?

Anya Bell [00:20:38]:
And maybe to some people, asking, what do I need? Might not even do it. But, like, even asking, anya, what do you need? Not what do I need, but anya, what do you need? As interested, somebody else is asking you that. Right?

Vision Battlesword [00:20:51]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:20:52]:
Like, you are that parent for yourself.

Vision Battlesword [00:20:54]:
I see.

Anya Bell [00:20:55]:
Or caregiver for yourself. Asking would. Because a lot of times when I'm like, space cadeting and then bumping into something, it's like, anya, where are you? Like, yeah, am I in the la la land? Am I in the past? Am I in the future? Why am I not here? That to the point where I'm, like, bumping into furniture or burning my hand. So asking myself a question like, anya, where are you? Brings me back to the center.

Vision Battlesword [00:21:21]:
That's an interesting technique. And I can see the brilliance in that and the wisdom in that because, well, I've got. I've got quite a few different questions about it, actually. But at least in this moment, I can see how dis. Identifying with the triggered part could be helpful to. At least to regain control of your own experience, let's just say. But recognizing that the point that you just made about parenting yourself is probably very realistic. If we take the model, there's a four brain model of these four characters that I've learned about in a book called Whole Brain Living by Jill Bolte Taylor, where we've got these four characters that are the upper left, lower left, and upper right, and lower Right quadrants of our brain.

Vision Battlesword [00:22:10]:
So the upper brain is the cortex, cortical, you know, what you might call the higher functioning, the analytical. Then the lower brain is the survival mind. It's typically non language based, it's emotional, it's reflexive. It's those earlier parts of our developmental process of evolution that are still of course present with us that have just been built on top of. But if we're in that emotionally flooded state of many times, we could be in what. What's called the character two. The character two is patterns and programs that usually form during childhood. So we may be.

Vision Battlesword [00:22:52]:
And that's the lower left, by the way, the lower left brain, which is concerned with the past and the future. So it's noticing something that looks like something that's happened to us before, or at least that reminds us of something that's happened to us before. And then making a prediction about the future of, well, if this happened before, then this will happen again, or something like this will happen again. But it's a child, usually a child aged state. And so what you could be doing when you say when you're disidentifying from what do I need in this moment right now to what do you need vision. What do you need in this moment right now? Maybe activating a different character.

Anya Bell [00:23:39]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:23:40]:
Like let's say maybe character one, a more adult right. Formed part to help that more child aged part that maybe doesn't even have the tools to like get in touch with what they need to like guide them through that process.

Anya Bell [00:23:54]:
You know who's really good at this game? Who? Glad.

Vision Battlesword [00:23:57]:
Yeah, I love him.

Anya Bell [00:23:59]:
He was the one helping me to identify the characters. Yeah. Him and I played this game. Love it.

Vision Battlesword [00:24:06]:
So here's my question for you. When you are saying to yourself, Anya, what do you need right now? Who is I? Oh, who is speaking?

Anya Bell [00:24:20]:
It's always the question who's talking?

Vision Battlesword [00:24:22]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:24:24]:
My favorite. Because there are so many characters, right? Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:24:29]:
Is there. But is there a specific character that takes charge in those moments for you or is it.

Anya Bell [00:24:36]:
It's the wise one. Some people call it the higher self. I don't like the higher lower that kind of labeling.

Vision Battlesword [00:24:45]:
So I think what you mean, why.

Anya Bell [00:24:47]:
Is one kind of resonates a little more.

Vision Battlesword [00:24:50]:
Is it like your true self or your. Some people say capital S self, like.

Anya Bell [00:24:55]:
Oversoul, you know, the divine self will.

Vision Battlesword [00:24:58]:
I think that's how some people say it.

Anya Bell [00:24:59]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:25:00]:
Is that who it feels like for you?

Anya Bell [00:25:01]:
Yeah. Yeah. Because it's like that. I don't know Maybe because I've done so many planned medicines. I know that voice so well now that it comes with the same intonation and tone and how it talks. Right. Versus the one who's frantic, cranky, or, you know, triggered. It's.

Anya Bell [00:25:20]:
It's. Guys, it sounds like you're crazy when it's all happening because, like, who's talking? How many voices are in my head and am I losing it? But at the end of the day, yeah, who's talking? Is that the talker? Is it the nice one? Is that the critical one? Is that the judge, the defense attorney? Like, was the evidence? We have witnesses. What's going on?

Vision Battlesword [00:25:44]:
That's what I'm often curious about when I'm talking to people. Either could be in a philosophical conversation like the one we're having now, or it could be in a facilitation, you know, in a game or something like that. But I'm often curious, like people, because people I notice use this word I in many different ways. Like sometimes even just within a span of a few sentences, it's like I and I, and then I'll. I'll. You know, I often want to ask people, like, who is I right now?

Anya Bell [00:26:15]:
Who.

Vision Battlesword [00:26:15]:
Who am I talking to at this moment?

Anya Bell [00:26:18]:
Which one of you?

Vision Battlesword [00:26:21]:
Well, what does this have to do with balance? Being able to come into that kind of harmony with oneself in a highly charged emotional situation? What does that mean to you in relationship to balance and becoming balanced?

Anya Bell [00:26:34]:
The visual that I just got was literally, let's say you have a team with all kinds of different characters and team players. And if team was on the same page, they are accomplishing and they're building and they're winning, whatever the case might be. Right. But if you have parts that are all over the place, you know, one demanding the attention more, the other one is throwing. Throwing a tantrum, someone is crying, someone is walking away. The team is not accomplishing anything. Right. So balance is literally to keep all of it going in the right direction or going in the same direction, at least.

Anya Bell [00:27:18]:
I don't know. Maybe the same direction is more appropriate term.

Vision Battlesword [00:27:22]:
Yeah. Okay. So balance, at least in part, has something to do with all of your parts having the capability to work together.

Anya Bell [00:27:30]:
Yeah. Get in them on the page.

Vision Battlesword [00:27:33]:
Maybe being mindful of if a specific part or emotion or reaction or response tends to be overdeveloped or tends to be overly in. Have undue influence in terms of the way things are going.

Anya Bell [00:27:49]:
Stealing a spotlight.

Vision Battlesword [00:27:51]:
Yeah. Well, coming back to that idea that the one of the first things that you mentioned about, you know, I said, well, what does balance mean to you? And you talked a lot about emotional balance. Like, I don't know, do you want to expand on that a little bit more? Just in terms of what does having emotional balance in one's life look like, in your opinion?

Anya Bell [00:28:11]:
Combining the physical skills that you have with divine wisdom that comes through too. Your ability to tap into different realms and then bring whatever information comes through and then actually building something with it in the physical form. That's a perfect balance of emotional balance and physical balance and the balance between divine and physical for manifesting whatever it is in a 3D.

Vision Battlesword [00:28:37]:
Yeah, I notice this comes up, this theme comes up pretty or has come up a few times at least in these sacred conversations. The idea of achieving balance or harmony or congruence between what happens in the material world with what we may say happens in the spiritual world and that it seems, sometimes I think it seems that we feel a tension between those two things. Like as if. As if there's a trade off. Right. As if we can't have both at the same time. Or rather, it's a zero sum. The more energy we put into one side of the equation, the less we may have experience in the other.

Vision Battlesword [00:29:21]:
Do you notice that too? At least in the way that people talk about it? I mean, like, as in, I want to pursue a spiritual life and that means I should give up my material pleasures, or at least material. I don't want to necessarily say abundance, but yeah, perhaps even because the example.

Anya Bell [00:29:39]:
That came to my mind was directly related to you. How after activation, pulling out all those crazy ideas on the whiteboard and then realizing, how am I gonna accomplish it? Like, how am I gonna get there? And the gap that's between your now and the dream life that you're manifesting is always such a tricky place to be at. Right? So, yeah, it's like giving yourself a grace, understanding that it will play out in a perfect way because you're tapped into the future and you're witnessing the past being left behind and staying balanced, knowing that you're going there and not to throw a tantrum. Like, that's not how I saw it in my mind, like, why my reality is not, you know, reflecting this. Oh, that's such a game. I don't know, but I don't know if a lot of people told you, like, if they experience that the dip that, like in that gap that, you know, follows the activation with you before you hit that dream life, like, how difficult and challenging that gap can be.

Vision Battlesword [00:30:50]:
Sometimes, but not frequently. Yeah, not often.

Anya Bell [00:30:54]:
Stay staying in that frequency and then managing to as again to, to. To put all the parts together to stay cohesive. That's the balance game right there.

Vision Battlesword [00:31:07]:
I think we improved things a lot with the integration program. Yeah, that really took off a little bit later in 2023, I think, is when the integration program really started to hit its stride. And it really like, I feel like it was really, really dialed in for the last 12 months or so. And I think that helped a lot. I think that helped people to bridge that gap, especially in those first few weeks, which as we both know, is so, so important.

Anya Bell [00:31:35]:
Right?

Vision Battlesword [00:31:36]:
Yeah, it, it, it certainly. Yeah, I think it can happen. Certainly did happen for some people. I think there's other people who didn't have that experience who really felt like they stepped kind of straight into a version of something that felt like their dream. And I think that's really one of the most important things is when we do this kind of manifestation game or play, I should say, we. The. The thing about placing your order with the universe is that sometimes you do actually get exactly what you ordered, but you don't necessarily know how.

Anya Bell [00:32:15]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:32:15]:
Or when.

Anya Bell [00:32:16]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:32:17]:
It's going to show up. And so, yeah, there's, there's an element of patience, I think. I think balancing. I think this is another aspect of balance that we're touching on is balancing my current state, experience of reality with that future state or that dream state maybe is actually a better way to call it, and bringing those into harmony in the sense of, okay, I don't yet notice or see present in my material frame all necessarily of the things that I may have visualized or put up on my whiteboard. And yet there is still a sense in which my dream is alive today. There is still a sense in which I am living in that dream state. And actually that's a part of the trick. That's a part of the magic trick.

Anya Bell [00:33:13]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:33:14]:
Of how it all does come true and manifest.

Anya Bell [00:33:17]:
And I think it's important to mention also knowing your human design in this regard. Are you specific or non specific? Manifesto or whatever your design is?

Vision Battlesword [00:33:28]:
What does that mean? Specific or non specific?

Anya Bell [00:33:30]:
So you and I are both manifesters, right?

Vision Battlesword [00:33:33]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:33:33]:
So for us in particular, or any, any other 100 manifesters, we have to be very mindful of our language.

Vision Battlesword [00:33:42]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:33:42]:
For example, entertaining good or bad is not an option because you will get something right smack in the middle. So we have to be mindful of entertaining the idea of is it going to be good or Better, you know, you kind of opening the door for the possibility of being pleasantly surprised versus good or bad. But what I've discovered was human design. All other types, they also are capable of manifesting. And some are non specific manifestors and some are specific, for example, non specific manifestors, like I am. I just need to say, like I want to live in California where how I'm going to get there. I don't need to know any of the details. I just point the finger.

Anya Bell [00:34:30]:
That feels good. I'm there. Done. Some people, for specific manifesters, they have to have the full outline. Like your organizational skill set will be very helpful here to help them organize step by step. This is what's going to happen. This is how house is going to look like, what color door, bedroom. All of those details need to be outlined because if you skip any little detail, you will be surprised.

Anya Bell [00:35:01]:
So I think, yeah, the, the big, big, big part of my balance was understanding my human design specifically because I was burning out before, right. Hostel culture, Work, work, work. Always work, always produce. And that's just not how I operate. And coming into agreement with that, trying not to identify too much with it, but at the same time understanding that this is how I work. Oh God, that made so much my life. My, my life is so much easier now because of it. Because you don't question yourself anymore and you don't try to prove people something that you shouldn't was.

Anya Bell [00:35:39]:
And you're not burning out. That's a big one, right. You stay in balance. You're not burning out. You're not riding or extremes. Rather than running on empty fuel.

Vision Battlesword [00:35:49]:
I must be a specific manifester.

Anya Bell [00:35:51]:
We can look it up.

Vision Battlesword [00:35:52]:
Oh really? It's part, it's actually part of the human design.

Anya Bell [00:35:55]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:35:56]:
Chart.

Anya Bell [00:35:56]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [00:35:57]:
I've never noticed that part before.

Anya Bell [00:35:59]:
I can, I can, it's in my phone. I can look it up.

Vision Battlesword [00:36:01]:
Where does that, where does that show up in the. It's when you, you want to, you want to actually take a break and do it.

Anya Bell [00:36:07]:
Yeah. Okay.

Vision Battlesword [00:36:08]:
I'll pull mine up too. Okay. Say that again.

Anya Bell [00:36:10]:
Your digestion is direct light. So you need to eat during the daytime and make decisions during the daytime.

Vision Battlesword [00:36:16]:
Yeah, that makes sense.

Anya Bell [00:36:18]:
Your strongest sense is outer vision, of course. Right. Making life more beautiful. Yeah. You are specific. And then anger, peace, informing, challenge solver, emotional authority.

Vision Battlesword [00:36:31]:
Human design is spooky, you know, Like I don't understand how it works. It's like, okay, give it your birth date, your place of birth and your time of birth. I mean, it's Based on the same data as astrology, and yet. But even that, it's all based on, I mean, it's based on your time and your place of birth. So it's all just based on celestial configuration, and yet it's strangely accurate. It's really hard for me to understand how it works.

Anya Bell [00:37:05]:
It's. Yeah, it's quite the information. It took me a while to dissect it and fully understand myself, at least in that regard. Yeah, it's funny, right? How it reads our spacesuits, Merkabah kind of blueprint information like that, just based off that information.

Vision Battlesword [00:37:25]:
But I could have told you without human design that I'm a specific manifester just because of the way. And you can see it all through the sacred light process and how it works. It's all about getting very specific. It's about clarity. And that's certainly how, how I've seen it happen or how it tends to show up for me. There's a story that I've told one time and I, I find myself annoyed with podcasts and podcast hosts who repeat the same stories over and over again. But I have told this story once before, so I think I'm okay with telling it again because I'm sure that you haven't heard it. And the story is, I was on a road trip with a friend of mine named Jackson and we were going to a festival and I wanted to get some LED lights, a string of LED lights to decorate our camp with.

Vision Battlesword [00:38:16]:
We didn't, I didn't have any. We stopped at a Walmart to get some. We went to the aisle. This the correct section in the Walmart where these lights should be. It was the lighting section. And looking around, looking around, they just weren't there. Even though I felt certain that Walmart, like a big Walmart like this, should have what I was looking for. Like, you know, colorful battery operated LED string lights should be there in this section.

Vision Battlesword [00:38:40]:
Couldn't find it, Couldn't find it. We're standing around for maybe five or 10 minutes, like looking high, looking low, looking left, looking right. We're looking everywhere, can't find it. And finally Jackson stopped me and stopped us in the, in the aisle and said, okay, look, let's just focus, take a few deep breaths. We did like a little micro meditation and he's like, all right, now describe to me exactly what you're looking for. What is it precisely? And I described it. I was like, it's a 10 foot string of Edison bulb rainbow colored LED lights with a battery pack. It's got a switch.

Vision Battlesword [00:39:21]:
It's USB charge. I described it to him explicitly, specifically, precisely what I was looking for. He said, okay, let's look again. We turned back to the shelf, and it was right there, directly in front of our face. It's like, okay, I know we looked here before. I know we've looked here five times. Yeah. It just seems to me that that's.

Vision Battlesword [00:39:43]:
That's one way that it works or that's one way that it can work. And what. What's really going on there? You know, are we just clearing our filters? You know, are we. Is it like clearing the dust off your glasses and, like, all of a sudden you can see what was there all along, but before it was obscured with your own limiting beliefs, or you just didn't know exactly what you were looking for? Is it the blue car effect? I don't know. Or did we really actually create LEDs out of thin air? I really don't know, but that makes sense. The specific manifesto thing, that's definitely how I work.

Anya Bell [00:40:15]:
I would hate that.

Vision Battlesword [00:40:16]:
How so?

Anya Bell [00:40:17]:
You asking me to figure out all the details, knowing how much more magic there is out there and things that I've never witnessed before surprise me. You know, I love this game. Like, thank God I'm nonspecific. Good or better? Surprise me. How much better can it get? Or how can it get better than this? These are the games.

Vision Battlesword [00:40:40]:
We have a kind of a natural balance, you and I. Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:40:43]:
Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It feels.

Vision Battlesword [00:40:45]:
Feels like the world benefits from having both of our types.

Anya Bell [00:40:49]:
Of course, of. I mean, because to some people, I look like a show. Because they're like, you have no plan. How. How are you gonna pull this off? And I'm like, guys, I just have to be there, and all the puzzle pieces will come together. That. That's just always how it works. I mean, I came to this country with, like, 200 in my pocket, not even knowing where I'm going.

Anya Bell [00:41:12]:
Who am I gonna meet? I just showed up, and I'm like, well, here I am. And they're like, who are you? I'm like, what do you mean? You know, it's the. I guess trusting trust is the big one, right? To trust yourself, to trust the universe and trust that everything will play out. And it was actually very interesting to note how when I first moved to us, I trusted myself so much. And then I lived here for 20 years and got beat up with so many different life experiences that the trust started dissipating. And, boy, was that a bad, bad habit to have. Not to trust myself.

Vision Battlesword [00:41:49]:
Yeah, I've done a dance with that recently myself. It's rough.

Anya Bell [00:41:55]:
We're not allowed to play that game. Manifesto. Are not allowed to go there. Like, it's. It's deadly because you are, like, we were talking about snapping out of whatever funk you're in for 90 seconds. Manifesting the shit show around you. If you're in a bad mood is even worse because then the snowball effect of it is going to be just so grandiose that you're like, wow, I should have snapped out of it earlier.

Vision Battlesword [00:42:23]:
How did you rebuild your trust when you started to lose it?

Anya Bell [00:42:27]:
Oh, God. Started off with what's called cookie jar method. Have you heard that?

Vision Battlesword [00:42:33]:
No.

Anya Bell [00:42:34]:
So you sit down and you write down all the accomplishments you ever achieved just to remind yourself that you've done it, and sit down. And I was 13 when my aunt told me that every year, either on your birthday or New Year's, just make a list of wishes, whatever you want to have, accomplish, achieve, and come back to it in a year, but write it down. And ever Since I was 13 years old, I would come back in a year to take a look. And 98% of that stuff is done. So, yeah, showing yourself. Showing yourself that, of course you had doubts about this. You didn't know how you're gonna manifest it, accomplish it, achieve it, get it, you know, get to it. And then it feels good to sit back and take a look.

Anya Bell [00:43:24]:
Like. Take it all in. Like, I've done this. I've done this before, so I can do it again. And this is where the game of parts come in handy, right? You have the critic and the judge just destroying you. Like, oh, you've messed up here. You know, you've. You've done this, this and that, and look.

Anya Bell [00:43:46]:
Look where you at. And the other version, I have to be like, y'all need to sit down. Like, you know, like, that already has to step in and say, like, shut up. All of you. Just take a seat.

Vision Battlesword [00:43:59]:
You've definitely got a very, like, a committee process going on up there.

Anya Bell [00:44:03]:
Oh, listen, it's. It's a courthouse. I have Judge Anya. Then I have Defense Team Scheme with all the evidence and all the, you know, witnesses. Then you have the prosecution with all evidence and witnesses. I mean, it's. It's a whole courthouse.

Vision Battlesword [00:44:22]:
There's a sense of balance in that.

Anya Bell [00:44:24]:
Though, because you have to give a spotlight for everyone to be heard and state the case. Otherwise, if you suppress one, resentment, health issues, hearing them out, time and space to talk. And I Love doing that while I'm journaling. Paper doesn't judge, so write it all out, take a look, and then move on.

Vision Battlesword [00:44:45]:
Interesting. Do you feel that you're putting yourself on trial or what is all the time? Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:44:51]:
Geez. Yeah. Jaijanya had had a run for a while. Yeah. She. She had a spotlight for a hot minute. And the critic. Or those were two besties.

Anya Bell [00:45:02]:
That's two bitches.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:05]:
How did you balance that out? Or what did you balance that out with?

Anya Bell [00:45:08]:
Plant medicine.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:09]:
Well, that'll do it.

Anya Bell [00:45:10]:
Yeah. Right, right. Plant medicine. A lot of journaling, a lot of writing, a lot of asking questions.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:18]:
Okay, I see that that's a process that helped you to achieve balance. But, like, what offset the judge and the critic? Like, what brought balance to your inner courthouse, so to speak?

Anya Bell [00:45:31]:
Well, first of all, acknowledging that there is more sides to that story. Right. And then again, the game.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:39]:
So you got. You got more characters now. You've got a prosecutor and a defender.

Anya Bell [00:45:43]:
Right. Oh, you do.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:44]:
Okay.

Anya Bell [00:45:44]:
You have a sister, Anya, Daughter Anya. Baby Anya. Like, you name it. Creative one, sassy one.

Vision Battlesword [00:45:52]:
I mean, are these, like, witnesses? Do they. Do they give testimony?

Anya Bell [00:45:56]:
I guess. You know, it's not even the courthouse. It's like the whole castle. Oh, it was the court.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:02]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:46:03]:
And the drama.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:04]:
Got it. Got it. More like. Yeah, more like it's a Game of Thrones.

Anya Bell [00:46:08]:
Yeah. This is Game of Thrones for real. Like, I. I witnessed the birth of my dragon in Peru for a reason. Yeah. You have all kinds of characters. And that's. And I know, like, it sounds crazy.

Anya Bell [00:46:21]:
A lot of people like you, they're like, you know, you sound schizophrenic. I'm like, oh, guys, like, if you only knew that. It does sound crazy when you talk to people about these parts of yourself that are like having an argument, and you have to hash it out in your own head, you know, because otherwise some people judge it.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:39]:
Call me crazy, but it sounds normal to me.

Anya Bell [00:46:43]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:43]:
But rather, I think it sounds like the place that most people get to once they have a certain level of self awareness.

Anya Bell [00:46:51]:
Right. I guess that's what. That's the one. Right. Being aware.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:54]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:46:55]:
Of who's talking.

Vision Battlesword [00:46:57]:
Well, what character offsets or balances out the critic for you?

Anya Bell [00:47:02]:
The nurturing and the loving one. So it's like the most nurturing, loving parent that anyone could ask for, the supportive cheerleader that anyone can have. Because that. This is exactly where the courtroom comes in handy, because you have one team stating the case, and then you have the opposite team. Stating the case was all of the evidence and witnesses. So if I see one, let's hear the other one too. Or let's bring another one in. Let's bring the character in and see what they got to say.

Vision Battlesword [00:47:37]:
Now, what about the judge? Is the judge impartial or is the judge. Does the judge have a default position?

Anya Bell [00:47:46]:
Now? The judge is actually just sitting there watching it all. But before, the judge was very strict.

Vision Battlesword [00:47:55]:
Yeah. Guilty until proven innocent.

Anya Bell [00:47:57]:
Yeah. Boom. Putting people to jail, blocked. Talking to you again kind of stuff, you know, so, yeah, it's. It's very interesting.

Vision Battlesword [00:48:07]:
Do you still find that you have to take things to court for. Frequently, in the sense of charges are brought, and then you have to defend. Then you have to defend yourself. You have to bring the loving, compassionate parent or any of those other defender parts kind of online to present their case and their evidence to the judge.

Anya Bell [00:48:28]:
You know, when you play this game long enough, it's not as extreme, and it doesn't take as long.

Vision Battlesword [00:48:33]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [00:48:34]:
So the awareness of catching what is really going on, is this a trigger? Is this the memory? Is this the. In some cases bleed through from other timelines. Who knows something? Is this me? Is this collective what's going on here? Right, right. Because sometimes it's not even my, you know, asking. Asking questions is a good, good game, but asking the right questions, I. I always tell people, like, if. If you're asking, why me? That's a bad game game. For example, like, I can play all kinds of games, but at the end of the court session, if I could find at least one good thing about this situation, if I can exit that little game with anything positive and gratitude, what.

Anya Bell [00:49:18]:
What is that? At least I'm on my way out in a proper direction.

Vision Battlesword [00:49:26]:
Is the purpose of the courtroom exercise to bring the two sides into balance, or is the purpose to have one side win out against the other?

Anya Bell [00:49:38]:
I guess it depends on the situation. Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:49:41]:
Okay.

Anya Bell [00:49:42]:
Because if you have one pulling. Pulling all the attention in and then neglecting the other parts that are literally manifesting in the physical form as a neglect to your physical health or. Or your finances or your work or your relationships, you got to take a look. Trying to stay balanced and bring harmony to yourself first and foremost and amplifies everything around you to be in the same state.

Vision Battlesword [00:50:12]:
Yeah. This is one of those cases where I find the concept of balance, or rather, I notice that I have a strong value in balance in terms of all of the different perspectives that we could take on a given situation, where that's. This is One of those cases where I noticed sometimes there can be like a, an A polarity or a binary situation that people sometimes present where it's sort of like the thesis, antithesis and then synthesis, dialectic, where first people are maybe in a state where they are harsh and judgmental and critical of themselves, and then that creates a lot of suffering in people's lives. Sometimes people could go through their whole life in that state, but then there can be an overreaction or maybe just like an equal and opposite reaction 180 degrees from that, which is that, like, oh, well, we should always be loving and accepting and everyone's always worthy and everyone's always valid and everyone's always right, like, true for them. Like, like whatever's true for me is true.

Anya Bell [00:51:26]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:51:27]:
Unambiguously or unconditionally. And I get that there's a super powerful form of healing and even wisdom in that mindset and that. That there can be a place for that and that that can be needed sometimes to, just like you said, that unconditionally loving the most, the most caring, unconditionally accepting, like, part of yourself that you can imagine. There can be a real place and a real need for that sometimes. But I'm also a little bit suspicious of kind of whitewashing or bypassing maybe is a better word, spiritual bypassing, one of like reality sometimes.

Anya Bell [00:52:16]:
Right, right.

Vision Battlesword [00:52:17]:
You know what I mean?

Anya Bell [00:52:18]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [00:52:18]:
It's like, oh, it's all good. I'm all good. I'm perfect, I'm worthy, I'm valid. Yes, you are, in the cosmic sense. And also, have you looked at this part of your Life recently? You know, 50, is it possible that that judge and that criticism actually have a place in a normal, healthy, balanced person? Normal, healthy, balanced psyche psychology, where they have real important things to say or to show you or to surface about what might be good for you or things related to survival.

Anya Bell [00:52:55]:
Right, right.

Vision Battlesword [00:52:55]:
Health and all that sort of stuff. So like, for me, that's what true balance looks like to me, is where all, all of those different parts and perspectives have a seat at the table and can be taken seriously. But then where that judge component at least is less judgmental or less provides less judgment and more discernment among these perspectives.

Anya Bell [00:53:20]:
It's more like an observer. Yeah, yeah, the judge is more of an observer. Just watches the whole court playing out.

Vision Battlesword [00:53:27]:
But also I think there's an element of decision that's needed sometimes, right?

Anya Bell [00:53:32]:
Well, yes, yes, of course. You have to be able to finally decide and execute the mood. Like what's what's what. What are you doing with all of this? With this energy? What's the solution here?

Vision Battlesword [00:53:44]:
Or what do I think about this? How do I feel about this? But I think that that's where I wanted to ask you a question earlier. I'll just ask it to you now. Like, what do you think about the difference between judgment and discernment?

Anya Bell [00:53:56]:
Well, the, you know, coming from a foreigner, judgment sounds like it feels like it have very heavy weight to it, right? Like it's final, like that's it. The. It's execution. Black or white. Discernment is more like I see you, I acknowledge you. I recognize that, you know, shady part. So I will be making my next move and next decision based off what was presented energy to it.

Vision Battlesword [00:54:30]:
Yeah, I like that you were used the word shade because I think that makes sense. It's to me, it's like I can differentiate between this shade and that. Shade is more like discernment. And then there might even be an element of choice involved. It's like, I think I prefer this instead of this. Whereas with judgment, I think oftentimes we bring a value or a moral component to it where it often, often judgment includes a word such as good or bad or some synonym of those words.

Anya Bell [00:55:05]:
Like who am I to judge?

Vision Battlesword [00:55:08]:
Well, what else is interesting to you about balance?

Anya Bell [00:55:11]:
It's just. It's amazing if you're balanced, how much creative energy comes out through divinity and creativity and just what manifests out of it in a balanced state when being is an imbalanced state is just so magical and brings a good reminder because we're. We're so dense, right? Like physical form and bills and jobs and houses and, you know, all of that. Sometimes we forget about how truly magical we are.

Vision Battlesword [00:55:43]:
How do you balance spirituality and materialism?

Anya Bell [00:55:47]:
By allowing myself to experience and what needs to experience. Playing with whatever I want to play with, experiment, allowing myself to make mistakes. Creative process is a messy process, you know, And a lot of times by making the mistakes, you're discovering a lot of new fun things to play with. Right? So that's where, you know, good or better served me so well. Just opening the door for possibilities that I could not even like think of.

Vision Battlesword [00:56:19]:
Do you think there's any trade off between spirituality and materialism?

Anya Bell [00:56:24]:
The trade off is we had this conversation yesterday with my friend. It's like you came here to be in the physical form, right? So be being in the physical form. Experiencing everything was the sensations that we have is beautiful. And if you're too up and out On a regular, daily basis, just space cadeting through this life. In a way, it's like you're abandoning this body, and this body is literally your best friend. Like, you take this best friend on adventures every day, Eating yummy food, getting the sunshine, exercise, you know, all of it. So, yeah, abandoning one for another is just not a good game because. And I get it, like, it.

Anya Bell [00:57:12]:
It sucks to be in the physical form sometimes. Sometimes it's too painful, it's too uncomfortable, it's too brutal. And the world seems to be very. Just insane to say the least. And it looks like everything is just going down to just reminding yourself that way. We gotta be, you know, yin yang, 50, 50. Without this physical form, then what's out there? It's a different experience. So you're here.

Anya Bell [00:57:43]:
Do your best to be here.

Vision Battlesword [00:57:45]:
Does that feel right to you? That it's a 50 50? Like, what does that even mean, 50 50. Does that mean the amount of energy that we invest in spiritual life versus material life? Or is it the amount of attention that we place there? Or is it the kind of experience that we have? What would you. How would you describe that 50, 50 balance?

Anya Bell [00:58:09]:
It's like being humble, knowing that you are just a human, but at the same time remembering who the fuck you are. You know, like you are the creator. Know who you are, but also remember there are limits. Like, you have bones that can break. You have tendons that can, you know, be torn. Be mindful.

Vision Battlesword [00:58:31]:
Yes.

Anya Bell [00:58:32]:
Your eyes can only take so much of technology, the phone down. Go play outside.

Vision Battlesword [00:58:40]:
You know, the yin Yang symbol makes me think of a wave. You know, how if you, like, let's say you take that symbol and turn it on its side, it kind of looks like almost like a sine wave pattern. And so that makes me think of like a different kind of balance where it's like the yin yang isn't black, white line straight through the middle.

Anya Bell [00:59:02]:
No, it changes.

Vision Battlesword [00:59:03]:
50, 50, right. It's like this wave shape. And so it makes me think that we could go through phases of a little bit more up and out, a little bit more down and in, a little bit more grounded and stable, a little bit more chaotic in flow.

Anya Bell [00:59:22]:
Yeah. There is a time in place, right?

Vision Battlesword [00:59:24]:
Yeah. And. And there's, you know, principles in hermeticism, like the principle of rhythm and the principle of polarity and things like that. But I'm just thinking of, yeah. How we could move through the waves. But it balances out in the long run, correct?

Anya Bell [00:59:43]:
Yeah. If, you know, like, I always tell my Participants, like, if you remember that everything is changing, like, everything changes all the time. There is a so much comfort in that. Like, no. No matter how uncomfortable the situation is, it will change. So having that idea at the back of your mind brings a lot of comfort and relaxation and, like, ease with it versus stressing. Like, oh, my God, I'm in so much distress at the moment. Like, it changes.

Anya Bell [01:00:17]:
Hang in there. Breathe. Take a deep breath. Go barefoot outside. Like, you know, ground yourself for a moment.

Vision Battlesword [01:00:25]:
It's good advice.

Anya Bell [01:00:26]:
Yeah, they remember it actually.

Vision Battlesword [01:00:29]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [01:00:29]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:00:30]:
That's good.

Anya Bell [01:00:30]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:00:31]:
When is the most balanced that you've ever felt by the water?

Anya Bell [01:00:37]:
So funny. Yeah. I didn't realize how nurturing water is to me. Any water, lakes, rivers, oceans, it's. It's incredible. Mountain like that. After I moved to California, it was a game changer. Florida was too flat, even though it had ocean.

Anya Bell [01:01:00]:
But no, California was mountains and ocean right there. The. The combination of those two was just like, that's it. That's home.

Vision Battlesword [01:01:08]:
That.

Anya Bell [01:01:08]:
That felt amazing. And then I went to Hawaii, and that's even, like, better. Yeah. Never, never thought I would, you know, I would say, like, I love Hawaii. And that's. That's the plan.

Vision Battlesword [01:01:19]:
What is it about being near water that helps you feel balanced?

Anya Bell [01:01:23]:
Maybe because I was in such a masculine role for so long, it reminds you to relax because at the end of the day, water, like in the womb, we are in the water, it relaxes us. Right. It floats. And it's super powerful too. Like, it can destroy a lot of things. Look at the Florida with hurricanes, tsunamis. It can bring a lot of damage. So know, it's powerful, it's strong, yet it works.

Anya Bell [01:01:52]:
It works for me. Tames my fire.

Vision Battlesword [01:01:55]:
Well, that makes sense then. Right? Because there's a natural balance, right. Between fire and water.

Anya Bell [01:02:01]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:02:03]:
What do you think about balance in relationships?

Anya Bell [01:02:08]:
Oh, that's the wrong person. You asking the wrong person about that? I'm single for a reason, so would. Wouldn't it be nice to have balanced relationships where people just accept people for who they are instead of, like, trying to pull their projections and expectations and demands and then throwing a tantrum that that's not how I had it in my mind kind of situation? You know, even though you thought you were clear at the beginning, some people misunderstood the sentences. They missed the memo. And you're like, oh, why are we doing this?

Vision Battlesword [01:02:49]:
I sense that I scratched a delicate topic.

Anya Bell [01:02:53]:
You asked the wrong person about it.

Vision Battlesword [01:02:55]:
Well, maybe I asked the right person about it. Well, so your answer Is interesting because at first you said, wouldn't it be nice to have balance in relationships? And my initial reaction to that was to say, I don't know, would it, Would we. Would we necessarily like to have balanced relationships? I've thought a lot about this topic myself. And just what does that even mean?

Anya Bell [01:03:19]:
Right. What does that mean to you?

Vision Battlesword [01:03:21]:
And. But then you, you kind of went on to say something that feels to me a little bit different about more like our expectations of each other that we have in relationships or how we judge each other in relationships, which I don't know if that necessarily is about balance or is the same thing as having balance or not, but I don't know what would. I guess. Do you notice that you have any balanced relationships or that ones that feel balanced to you?

Anya Bell [01:03:49]:
Yes. Okay. And that's probably the best part, that after all these years, I'm back to being balanced with my, you know, friends, my parents, people around me. Because, like, the triggering point was like, I was just not a happy camper and I was not getting along with people. And I'm like, something is not right here. Like, I am off and I cannot figure out what it is. So let me figure this out. Y'all hold, please hold.

Anya Bell [01:04:19]:
I gotta go some. Do some deep diving here to figure out what's going on. And then. Yeah, it was incredible process to go in that. In that direction to see what's. What is really going on.

Vision Battlesword [01:04:33]:
Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot recently and just, you know, there's a lot of different types of balance that we can have with other people. But in particular, I think. What? Well, I think the one that's most. That people think about and maybe talk about most often, as I see it, is just energetic balance. Like who's giving.

Anya Bell [01:04:55]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:04:56]:
Versus receiving.

Anya Bell [01:04:57]:
Right, right.

Vision Battlesword [01:04:58]:
But I think there's other types of balance too. And I think there's other ways in which sometimes it feels better in certain ways if it's not perfectly balanced. Do you know what I mean? Where it's like, variety is the spice of life. Like you and me are not the same, but there's a kind of balance in our differences.

Anya Bell [01:05:17]:
Right, right. And sometimes maybe otherwise it would be boring. Right. If we were identical. Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:05:22]:
Yeah. So I just think about that sometimes. So I just thought I'd see what your thoughts were about it and how that's manifested for you.

Anya Bell [01:05:29]:
Well, it's always interesting how the most freedom loving person attracts the most controlling one. At least that's how it's been in my experience. Before, you know, and I'm like, where are my freedom loving people at? Where are my people?

Vision Battlesword [01:05:46]:
Yeah, yeah.

Anya Bell [01:05:47]:
But I guess I had to learn the lessons, you know, and use my discernment a little better and understanding of myself a little more and communicating it more clearly. But again, you might communicate it all you want and they think they can have it and they can do it, but at the end of the day they just realize they can't. You know, like topic of polyamory. Right. You, you. A lot of people think they can do it, but once they try it, they can't.

Vision Battlesword [01:06:17]:
Yeah, right, right.

Anya Bell [01:06:20]:
The traumas are coming out, the jealousy kicks in, the possession. I mean, you name it.

Vision Battlesword [01:06:25]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [01:06:26]:
All of that.

Vision Battlesword [01:06:27]:
Yeah. It's almost like we have something biological.

Anya Bell [01:06:33]:
Mine.

Vision Battlesword [01:06:33]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [01:06:34]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:06:34]:
It's funny. But in your case, so it sounds like at least there's one sense in which it would feel more balanced to you for two people to be. To share the same value in a certain way. In other words, it feels balanced if your love of freedom balances out my love of freedom, like we, like that's the same. But then in another case, there could be a yin yang or a puzzle piece kind of phenomenon where, let's just say my desire to feel safe and protected matches your desire to be a provider and a protector.

Anya Bell [01:07:14]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:07:15]:
We're not the same and yet there's a different kind of balance.

Anya Bell [01:07:18]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:07:19]:
That works for us in that case.

Anya Bell [01:07:20]:
Exactly.

Vision Battlesword [01:07:21]:
It's interesting.

Anya Bell [01:07:22]:
Yeah. Just like for some people, they need to see each other every day. For others is three times a, you know, three times a week. I'll see you on the weekend. Don't bother me for the rest of the days. I need my me time.

Vision Battlesword [01:07:35]:
Yeah. What other perspectives on balance can we think of that are interesting to flesh this out?

Anya Bell [01:07:42]:
I think we need to remind people of balancing use of technology and not being so involved.

Vision Battlesword [01:07:52]:
You know, I love that.

Anya Bell [01:07:54]:
And exposed to it. Because a lot of people do not fully comprehend how much stimulation is taking place was the exposure. And how incredibly sneaky social medias are. And algorithms.

Vision Battlesword [01:08:10]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [01:08:10]:
So being mindful of that, you're ingesting that vibration, that energy, and then if you feel off or you having an anxiety or you don't know what's going on with you, but you feel off, chances are you picked up something in on the social media and you didn't even know it and now you gotta get rid of it.

Vision Battlesword [01:08:35]:
That is so true in my experience, and I've just been going through my own personal a B test in a Not necessarily planful way, but I have. I cannot deny the direct and immediate connection for me between looking at a certain kind of news or reading certain. Certain kind of pages and channels and a very striking emotional experience that's extremely unpleasant that. That I've been having recently. And it's like. It's so direct and so immediate. And it's like when I turn that stuff off, all of a sudden I feel great.

Anya Bell [01:09:24]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:09:24]:
About life.

Anya Bell [01:09:25]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:09:25]:
And if I turn it on, I really don't. And. Yeah, you're. You're so right about that. It's. It's like eating, you know, it's like the analogy to your mind of eating the worst kind of things that you could imagine to put in your body, like not just bad food, but actual poison. You know what I mean?

Anya Bell [01:09:46]:
Yeah. Like your mind literally records every little detail, even if it was a split of a second. If anyone done iboga. You understand what I'm talking about? You see it all.

Vision Battlesword [01:10:01]:
Tell me more about that.

Anya Bell [01:10:02]:
You can. So not to spoil the iboga experience for anyone, but you're getting a flashes, and it's like slides going from the back of your mind sliding in front of your face. Black and white slides from your life experiences and other experiences, I don't know, this lifetime or other lifetimes. And you can slow it down and you can zoom in to a tiniest little piece of furniture at your grandma's house when you were a baby and you visited when you were like six months old. You can take a look at her dress, at this psychedelic prints of whatever art that was on the walls. Or not. It's wild.

Vision Battlesword [01:10:46]:
Wow.

Anya Bell [01:10:46]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:10:47]:
So you're saying it's all in there?

Anya Bell [01:10:50]:
Yes.

Vision Battlesword [01:10:51]:
Every single frame of the movie of your life in ultra beyond 8k high definition is all in there and accessible.

Anya Bell [01:11:00]:
Imagine you're riding a subway and there are people next to you watching something nasty on their phones. And you see it was the corner of your eye. You see it, you're exposed to it. You remember it. Your mind captures that.

Vision Battlesword [01:11:13]:
Wild.

Anya Bell [01:11:14]:
Yeah.

Vision Battlesword [01:11:15]:
Yeah. The iboga experience in particular is just fascinating to me, listening to other people's stories of it. It's not an experience that I've personally had, but it's. It's really interesting how in certain ways variable and highly personal, it seems to be. But then in certain other ways, there's specific phases of the journey that are extremely predictable, that everyone seems to go through, or the vast majority of people seem to go through them. The movie slideshow phase, like what you're talking about is like something almost everybody reflects that they experienced.

Anya Bell [01:11:55]:
Yeah, well, it's fascinating.

Vision Battlesword [01:11:57]:
Yeah.

Anya Bell [01:11:58]:
Literally, like your, your own creation witnessing how the energy comes into physical form and sperm and egg unites and then starts dividing and then tissue by tissue, your body is being built.

Vision Battlesword [01:12:13]:
You, you, you, like, watch that.

Anya Bell [01:12:15]:
Yes. I was like, throughout the whole experience, I'm like, who made this? I need to talk to that being like architects of the universe. I got questions like, how do you come up with this shit? Like, because, you know, when, when. When you study anatomy and physiology and biochemistry, you understand there are so many processes that are taking place in our body. And something out there thought about all of this and it all functions, like, so beautifully orchestrated. Like, let's say your body was born knowing there are no doctors, right? So it knows how to heal itself and survive on whatever substance you feed, eat it. Like, there are people who live on sugar and just for years and they don't die. Working on the ambulance.

Anya Bell [01:13:02]:
Sometimes I would look at the person, I'm like, how are you still alive? Like, you were supposed to be dead. Like, I don't know how long ago. And your body is still compensating and keeping you alive. Like, this is wild. Like, your nails are like little tools to, you know, dig up whatever little root to eat or, like, scratch something to peel it off. You have no clothing, so here's hair to keep you warm. Like, it's just fascinating. And I was like, who made this? Like, who came up with this most brilliant avatar out there? And I'm like, this is just mind blowing.

Anya Bell [01:13:42]:
The processes that are taking place and then us remembering all these little details that we're ever exposed to, like.

Vision Battlesword [01:13:50]:
Yeah, yeah. The older I get, the more experience I have of obviously, you know, as everyone who's been on this path, like you and I have, can relate to and attest to. The psychedelics help a lot with just coming to these conclusions, but it's just really, really impossible for me, more and more so over time, to get in touch with the old, like, materialist perspective or, you know, pure randomness or the random universe theory, let's just call it. Of like, you know, big happened, big bang and then, you know, some natural laws and just random probabilities theory of like all of this stuff that we experience. It just can't. It just doesn't make sense. It can't be that. It's.

Vision Battlesword [01:14:43]:
It's. There's. It's way too weird. You know what I mean?

Anya Bell [01:14:48]:
Do you think aliens balancing us out.

Vision Battlesword [01:14:50]:
What do you mean? Extraterrestrials I love that question, but what.

Anya Bell [01:14:53]:
Do you mean something out there is like, you know, because what do you.

Vision Battlesword [01:14:57]:
Mean balancing us out?

Anya Bell [01:14:58]:
I mean, we're, we're savages. You know, humanity is just so self destructive. Like you would think that in 2024 we would have again, going back to the dream work with you. Cleaner air, clean water, clean food. Yet people wear plastics, AKA polyester, nylons and all kinds of other stuff, chemicals, toxins.

Vision Battlesword [01:15:23]:
What is going on, on the other hand, to balance out your point?

Anya Bell [01:15:28]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:15:28]:
On the other hand, look at this magic. This, this magical stuff that we, we're.

Anya Bell [01:15:35]:
Getting blind from it. True TVs and screens are like literally damaging our eyeballs. Go look at the sunset.

Vision Battlesword [01:15:43]:
That's beautiful. That is, that's fair. No, I agree with you. I mean, it seems like, I mean, I think you and I are approximately the same age. And it really seemed to me when I was growing up and like, you know, even maybe into my 20s, that we were really on the, on the cusp of, you know, just really kind of having a utopia, like we could do it. We, we have the knowledge, we have the technology, certainly we, you know, I don't know what it is that's actually preventing us from just having peaceful, prosperous, beautiful, flourishing lives. If we chose to. It seems like we could.

Vision Battlesword [01:16:31]:
And it really is a little depressing the way that seems like things have gone a little bit backwards in recent decades. Seems like we're going back into a period of war and self destructiveness and maybe even a little bit of a depression, which is really sad. But then again, you know, I also just keep coming back to the idea of cycles and I keep coming back to the idea of the wave. You know, wave goes up, wave goes down, and over time it all balances out and it seems like we're generally heading in the right direction. I would hope so in terms of the. Our consciousness.

Anya Bell [01:17:15]:
Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:17:16]:
It seems like it.

Anya Bell [01:17:17]:
But sometimes it definitely feels like we're making two tiny little steps forward and three giant leaps backwards.

Vision Battlesword [01:17:25]:
It feels unnecessary. Right, that's the, that's the part that's annoying about it.

Anya Bell [01:17:29]:
Yes. Like I can, I'm having a really difficult time accepting that.

Vision Battlesword [01:17:33]:
Yeah, I hear you. I don't know that there are or need to be aliens or other, other beings, sentient creatures to quote, unquote, balance us, but I think there probably are. I mean, it seems to me that there are likely, very likely to be other life forms that are, let's say, further down the path than us.

Anya Bell [01:18:00]:
They're Just like in the lab, watching us like petri dish named planet Earth.

Vision Battlesword [01:18:06]:
Who knows, maybe we're like an adolescent, you know, global consciousness that's still just kind of getting our learner's permit and not yet ready to drive the car right out into the rest of the community. I don't know.

Anya Bell [01:18:24]:
Yeah, that's a good observation. Like, where are we in that regard globally, or is Gaia's conscious? Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:18:31]:
Don't know. But hopefully, if anything, we, those of us that believe in this kind of transcendence of the old patterns, just like what we're talking about at a personal level, it's kind of interesting to expand that frame of reference out to a community, a society, a civilization, a species. But it's all kind of fractal, isn't it? Like everything we were talking about just in the internal, the personal level of reactive patterns and getting triggered and going into the flooded state. And then I've got 90 seconds to settle my nervous system or go into a process or decide what it is that I want to do with this. Why would it be any different for the species that we get triggered sometimes and have a reaction and then we collectively have to get our shit together?

Anya Bell [01:19:28]:
Yeah, some people do not want to even look there. Whether you like it or not, remember how David Savage said it? He's like, we all collectively are being moved forward. Whether you feel that you're moving or not, there is, there is a movement. And someone actually showed like a computer generated image of how our solar system is like spiraling, moving forward, not just sitting in one space and like spot and like rotating, but actually it's a spiral.

Vision Battlesword [01:19:59]:
Going forward, of course, does seem like some of us are pulling more than others.

Anya Bell [01:20:08]:
Right. Listen, every time when I purge for somebody else, I'm like, why do I have to do this for them? Like, why me? Yeah, why do I have to help this person? But I'm like, here I am, you know, signed up for this.

Vision Battlesword [01:20:22]:
But on the other hand, I think everybody has a unique role, a unique part in this whole big drama of the unfolding of the universe. And everybody is expressing their own unique individuation and contributing to the evolution of consciousness in their own way. That is certainly far beyond my ability to understand it and probably even appreciate it. And I think a good dose of humility. You use that word earlier in the conversation, is always helpful to just coming to a sense of peace with whatever's happening.

Anya Bell [01:21:04]:
Doing my best. Right.

Vision Battlesword [01:21:06]:
Is there anything else that you want to say about balance?

Anya Bell [01:21:10]:
I feel complete.

Vision Battlesword [01:21:11]:
Well, thank you very much for this conversation. This was really fun and interesting and enlightening for me. I hope you enjoyed it, too.

Anya Bell [01:21:20]:
Yeah. I'm glad we finally did this.

Vision Battlesword [01:21:22]:
Yeah, me too.

Anya Bell [01:21:23]:
It's been a while.

Vision Battlesword [01:21:24]:
Well, thank you so much for coming to visit.

Anya Bell [01:21:25]:
Thank you for having here.